THE SELF-POISONER: PATTERNS OF SELF-INDUCED TOXICITY – HOLDING ON TO THE PAST & THE GOOD OLD DAYS HOLDING ON TO THE PAST
Posted on February 15, 2011, under Weight Loss.
THE SELF-POISONER: PATTERNS OF SELF-INDUCED TOXICITY – HOLDING ON TO THE PAST & THE GOOD OLD DAYSHOLDING ON TO THE PASTAnother group of self-induced toxic behavior patterns is characterized by a person’s refusal to let go of obsolete attitudes, relationships, and experiences that were part of the reality of his past, but are inappropriate in the here and now. He poisons himself with outmoded attitudes and responses which complicate his life, distracting himself from focusing on his most important needs. In the end, he loses touch with the central aspects of his self and the ongoing process of discovering his evolving identity.THE GOOD OLD DAYSHolding on to the past is a way of cutting oneself off from nourishment in the present. Some people constantly complain about their present problems, and about social conditions, world affairs, etc., as if everything were bleak and nothing good ever happened. They contrast this with the “good old days” when people were more friendly and cared about one another. While there may be some minimal gratification in reminiscing about what living was like many years ago, the toxic effect can be quite devastating.Memory is notoriously inaccurate; the past is a collection of fantasies. When a person clings to these fantasies and insists that his past really was as glorious as he remembers, he convinces himself that the present is dull, drab, and depressing. This kind of self-poisoning attitude destroys the nourishment (excitement, joy, and pleasure) in what is.Mr. Brown to his family on the Fourth of July: “Those fireworks weren’t bad, but they just don’t make ‘em like they used to. When I was a kid, firecrackers had a much bigger bang and there were lots more of them. We really had fun in those days!”*72\350\8*